Allow me to Reintroduce myself to some and Introduce myself to others
I was born Ke’Ana Alexis Troutman on March 27th in the 1990s-ish. I decided that I hated my last name and I set myself on a new journey to change it. I didn’t like my first name because it didn’t feel like it fit “me” even though I had no idea of who I was. I found myself trying to wear different versions of myself to see which one would stick. I’d like to think of myself as a chameleon of sorts, trying on every personality that I came across.
I also hated my last name due to all the pain that came with it. Not just the very real trauma and bullying I endured because of who else held my last name but also the pain that struck me from the very people who held the same name as me. The generational trauma that came from before my grandparents ever lived was so pervasive that it would show up even in my generation and two more after me. Addiction, betrayal, sickness, wrapped up in searches for love, acceptance, and closeness. Hurt had been passed down from one to the next, with a thicker layer of guilt, shame, and denial.
You can say that generational trauma is what led me to create a bigger mess in my own life. Looking for ways to change that last name sent me on a wild goose chase of to find love and acceptance. Our deep need for connection leads us to make decisions that are not always for the best and we certainly don’t believe they are for the worst either. So why do we do them……..??
Our Journey Together
I have spent my entire life journaling and chronicling my entire life. I have over 20 journals that hold my deepest hurts, pains, joys, fears, and secrets. But I also hold in those pages thoughts and reflections on how I got here and made it through and the things I’ve read, learned, and experienced. The pages of those journals hold the wisdom I’ve gained from falling and from what others have shared with me. I have shared that wisdom as a licensed social worker, psychotherapist, speaker, and friend. I am finally ready to share through writing, which has always been my first love. Writing is the safest place to share, pray, and pour into your own soul what you’ve been missing in your thoughts. I invite you to join me on this journey as I share my most intimate thoughts, reflections, prayers, and most of all my story.
What You Can Expect
Vulnerability has changed my life. Vulnerability sat down with me, showed me who I was, and released the shame that kept me hiding in the dark. Safety was born from that place. Being authentically and relentlessly who I am is the only option because it is where safety and vulnerability come together to birth something far greater. Peace. Power. Strength. Courage. That is the community that you are entering as you read my stories and the lessons I’ve learned. I encourage you as you enter this space to be open and ready to receive whatever may speak to your heart. As I write from my heart to yours.
Every Friday you can expect a new article from me. Freedom Fridays as I like to call it. Soon there will be an opportunity to become a paid subscriber where I will post my most intimate thoughts taken directly from previous journal entries twice a week. But for now please subscribe.
I’ll see you soon. This friday.
